And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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