she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
