i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
