i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
