Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I need to align my fucking chakras
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