Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize