I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
