I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
