Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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