did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
