I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
