Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
