I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
