neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
