He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Randomize
