I'm really into asian looking animals
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
now i know why i became what i already was.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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