People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
