everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
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