the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
