why didn't you poke me back
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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