if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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