apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
