so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
