if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
