can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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