so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
