He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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