Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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