Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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