Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize