someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
