oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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