You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
