I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
