You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
