I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
