listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
