Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
