guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
