dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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