underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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