Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
