Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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