but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
