so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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