A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
