its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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