you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
