I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize