I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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