she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
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