the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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