Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
