Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
