Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
