Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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