How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
