I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This is classic penis vs brain.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
