READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
