last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
