The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
